Monday, November 25, 2013

It's an Insomniac, Charlie Brown!

Charlie Brown is one of the quintessential characters from my childhood; I’ve grown up watching movies like It’s a Charlie Brown Christmas and It’s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown. He is one of those perfectly written characters that is both sad and charming, kind of like the human version of Eeyore-which was also one of my favorites when I was young. Maybe my taste in fictional characters should have alerted me to my future habits and my bleak sense of humor (at best). Nonetheless, here I am at 4 a.m. watching Brian Schatman talk about how it is Way Too Early because I couldn’t stop thinking about dinner, breakfast, dental school, the Bears’ loss, what I have to do, who I need to talk to tomorrow, why I wasn’t productive yesterday etc.

I am convinced that sometime during my college career, I became an insomniac. As a child, back when I first watched Charlie Brown for pure entertainment, I slept like a dead person. I literally didn’t move. I was so asleep that my first college roommate thought I had died the first night of school because I didn’t move. Somewhere in there, I stopped sleeping to wake up and finish a lab report or because I couldn’t sleep. Luckily, I spent a few blissful weeks sleeping well after I came home from school, but once I got into the swing of working, moving downtown, getting a puppy, and started applying for dental school, the stress and responsibility killed my beautiful sleep.

This, my friends, is why I am up right now and this is why I believe there should be a movie called: It’s an Insomniac, Charlie Brown. Why? Well, because my guess is that anyone who has a job, is a professional student, has a puppy, has a child, or has bad dreams is probably up right now just like me. Why not create a movie letting kids know what’s coming, but better yet, something for me to watch when I am up at 4 a.m. If it has Snoopy in it, I’ll probably like it. Even if it’s the story of my life and instead of the Wah Wah teacher, it’s the Wah Wah voice coming out of my own mouth when I talk to Dan about being like Charlie Brown or telling him it’s imperative to brush and floss his teeth twice a day. Does anyone else feel like the Wah Wah teacher? I’m fairly certain my mom did when I refused to clean my room in high school after she asked. Anyone else, Bueller, Bueller? At least I’m not that professor talking about Voo Doo economics…yet.

Right now, the Forevermark Diamond commercial is on television; you know, the one where it’s that man narrating about how he can’t even understand how he’d live without her laughing all the time. Welp, there goes my chance at a Forevermark. If I laughed all day, people would think I was sick. I have the aforementioned bleak (at best) humor and if I laughed all day, people would take it seriously. Seriously bad not seriously good. Oh yes, Charlie Brown.

I don’t think Charlie Brown would laugh all day. Charlie Brown whines and complains and mopes. {Hello, Katharine!}. I think my dog imitates me when I do that, too, just like Snoopy mocks Charlie Brown in It’s a Charlie Brown Christmas. See, I’m sad, I memorized the Charlie Brown Christmas movie. This is why I need a new one. 

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